My dear, If you want to be well liked and admired don’t listen to what the masses say. Ideas, thoughts, and deeds don’t make the man. Rubbish! Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. … I did here of a strange tale about an emperor with no clothes though. Falsely yours, Samuel Langhorne...

My dear, Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. How else would you explain how we got in this predicament? Either a lot of smart people are out there having the time of their lives causing havoc and seeing what we do about it, or there are a lot of serious idiots doing things that they think are smart, and yet in the end, still coming up idiots. Both...

My dear, The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Because the real enemies we face are pain and sorrow, not each other. That man on the other side of the planet, he’s not your real enemy. Your true enemy is the sorrow that comes from knowing the world cannot get along. That fellow employee who got the raise instead of you, they’re not your true enemy. Your real enemy is the pain that builds up...

My dear, The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. The only way to keep your happiness is to eat everything you want first and last, drink what you love all day even if it be alcohol, and do everything you like and nothing you don’t. Ahhh, but no man is infinite in health or happiness. Falsely yours, Samuel Langhorne...

My dear, The Wright Brothers flew. But humans can’t fly. That’s impossible. But they didn’t know at the time. NASA took man to space to walk on the moon. But man can’t walk on the moon. That’s impossible. But they didn’t know at the time. The army has planes that allow people to fly faster than the speed of sound. But people can’t fly faster that sound. That’s impossible. But they...