My dear, There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. To wake up and find that the world has not only added wrinkles to your face, but wiped the smile off of it too. To wake up Christmas morning and find yourself neither cheerful nor filled with a need for family and good fun in your belly. There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and find yourself grown...

My dear, Look at that man over there. Yes, him, on the couch; glued to the television. He hasn’t moved all day. No he isn’t dead. But he might as well be. I declare that if a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. It’s only fitting. Falsely yours, Erma...