My dear, Why would anyone hate Thanksgiving? Think about the turkey. I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Oh, and it’s also about spending time with your family, eating with people who are thankful to have you in their lives, and about tradition. Yeah… those are important too. Falsely yours, Arnold Alois...

My dear, If people’s jealousy for you be visible, then good job. For everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn. Although people are sad for the pitiful, they are slightly delighted in that they are not in their position; they take slight delight in their betterment. You do not need much to be pitied, just failure. Now jealousy, that must be earned. That look you see upon the face of the envious, that needs to be earned....