My dear,

Don’t even think about stooping low.

Don’t bring a change of clothing. Don’t pull up your sleeves in anticipation of the fight. Don’t train months in advance on how to manoeuvre in mud. And please don’t try to educate yourself on the psychology of pigs to maybe get a grasp of how they operate. Don’t do it. It’s a horrible waste of your time and attention.

Just walk away from the pig.. slowly.

Don’t ever wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.

Falsely yours,
Cale Yarborough